All she says is...

Do you ever wonder...

2012-02-16T21:45:00.000-06:00

if you're unhappy because you've scheduled too many things for yourself and you don't have a moment to yourself, or if you're unhappy because you skipped one of said scheduled things and wish you had?

Don't get me wrong, I know that happiness is a choice, and I'm a pretty happy person (most of the time), but I've been vacillating between being frustrated not having a moment to myself (or to work on the quilt I started for my brother before Christmas), and being frustrated because I stayed home for a night and didn't get much of anything done. There's surely a solution, and I'm sure I'm on the verge of figuring it out!

Courage

2012-01-15T19:06:00.000-06:00

I read this about courage today: "Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently." It rang with truth. I complain about the problems of society in general and have many theories about where the disconnect lies. A big part is the lack of connection between what beliefs people claim to espouse and what beliefs they actually live by. I loved that Thomas S. Monson continued in saying "Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one's coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve." Anyone who has failed to reach an important goal knows this is true, and I amend above statement about people not living by their beliefs to say that all too often people give a half-hearted try at living by their beliefs, then give up when they don't succeed on the first try. Have courage, and keep trying!

Memories

2012-01-10T21:50:00.001-06:00

I've been listening to this talk and thinking about life...I'm still not happy about a certain situation regarding the state of my relationship with certain young man, and was reminded that I have so many good memories to look back at-someone once threw rocks at a window to get my attention. It's things like that which I can look back on and remember fondly. Dating is hard, but it's worth the effort.

2011-12-09T14:26:00.002-06:00

Dad always says this means something better is coming. Something better has big shoes to fill.

Weather

2011-08-24T22:44:00.002-05:00

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to the next week. My plan is to stay inside as much as possible!

Bad News

2011-08-18T10:46:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been over a week, and I guess I'm okay enough about my news to write about it without too much emotion. I found out last Wednesday that I'm being laid off. What a blow. In spite of not really enjoying my job, I was grateful to have a job, and one that allowed me to pay my bills (and save a little) without trouble. I've been looking for about 2 years, on and off, without much success. I was taking a break in hopes that the economy would improve, but now my job hunt has started again in earnest. I have to confess, I feel a little panicky-the economy has not improved since I got this job, if anything, I feel that it's worse. Talking to people has reminded me that there are options out there, but there are also a lot of other people who want to take advantage of the same opportunities.

Some days are good and some are bad. I think the strangest thing has been the reactions of some of my coworkers. The people I work with closely are sympathetic and supportive, which I greatly appreciate! There are others that I know only peripherally, that usually say hello in the hall and chat a bit. Many of them have started treating me like I've contracted leprosy. They don't make eye contact, and sometimes it seems like they're trying to avoid me. Lay-offs aren't contagious, and though they are probably as shocked as I am and scared for their jobs, it's hard to have them treat me differently. Over all, I think I'm dealing with the news pretty well. I have just over two months until my last official day of work, and I'm cautiously optimistic about finding something else. Thanks for your support so far, please keep your ears open about any opportunities!

Memories

2011-07-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

This comic reminded me of the time I was on crutches at BYU...I was walking (crutching?) to family home evening with my roommates. One of them told me to slow down. I told her I wouldn't because the speed I was at was the resonance frequency for my body as a pendulum on the crutches. Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but I just have.

Temptation

2011-07-06T13:54:00.000-05:00

I think the ad banners online are taunting me. I saw this today:

While I have some trips in the planning stages, it's hard to not want a visit to the southern hemisphere to visit friends there!

Friday is coming...

2011-06-14T11:39:00.000-05:00

I love having something to look forward to, even if it's a little something. I have a date on Friday. A date with someone that I'm really excited to go out with! That being said, this week will probably pass slower than molasses in winter time.

Meanwhile, Matthew suggested I buy a pair of Nike Presto running shoes. I ordered them from Amazon, and picked them up from the apartment office yesterday. Unfortunately, I picked them up on my way back from my run, so I haven't officially tried them out yet. However, I did wear them to work today, and my feet are in heaven. I asked Matthew how I ever lived without these shoes-they are so comfortable. The advertisement that called them the t-shirt for your feet was not kidding. I never want to take them off-I think I could sleep in them! Now I know why he was so devastated a few years back when Nike stopped making them, and why he was so thrilled they are once again making them. I bought a second pair today, just in case they stop making them again (and because I don't think they're really making the womens Presto again-it was just lucky that some place in the UK had a couple of pairs in my size).

Good Morning

2011-06-12T19:41:00.001-05:00

I had a very satisfying morning today. Since I haven't written in a while, I thought I'd share. A friend last night was teasing me about not inviting him to join a group of us who went dancing Friday night. While I maintain that I did invite him, he just wasn't paying attention, I asked what I could do to make it up to him. He replied "Food." So we had breakfast this morning. I made bacon (what's breakfast without bacon?) and waffles, and he brought some strawberries to top them with. We ate and chatted. When we were done with the food, he asked what I'd been studying in my Scriptures. I answered him, and got up to grab them. He pulled them up on his phone, and since they wouldn't load, used my extra set. We talked for over an hour about things we'd learned and questions we had. It was wonderful-I haven't done something like that since Australia, and I've been missing it a lot lately. What a beautiful way to start out my Sabbath!

Why?

2011-05-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

Because I can take it, I guess. I just thought I'd write about my past week...

Last Monday-went to have Hal's AC checked...the compressor was leaking. They can't just replace the leaky seal, they have to replace the whole compressor. By the time everything was fixed, they had also replaced the thermal fan compressor, and I was out about $1200, but going without AC in Texas in the summer time is out of the question-I would be completely representable by the time I got anywhere. Because I spent so much time with the lovely folks at Midas, I missed my soccer game.

Tuesday I was working on a new assay at work. I've been trained, but it was several weeks ago. Our workload kept changing, and it was finally time for me to run the assay alone. Day one was a little hairy. I interrupted one of my work mates to help me a couple of times, but finally made it through the day.

Wednesday was day two of the new assay. I called tech support twice. My supervisor came in and asked me if I could finish all of the plates by next Friday. I asked if I could run the assay again before giving him an answer, as I wanted to be a little more comfortable with the protocol before saying yes or no. He agreed, and I finished my stressful first time on the assay successfully. Then I went to Institute. A welcome break from the stress of the beginning of the week.

Thursday was the shining star-no cavities at the dentist, we won our soccer game, and I went to a concert with a friend. Not really my usual type of music; I think I liked the opening band more than the main event, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Watching the people at the concert was as enjoyable as the concert itself-I find group dynamics fascinating.

Friday was my second time with day two of the new assay. I think I spent at least 3 hours on the phone with tech support. Bottom line, one of our instruments is broken, and they're supposed to call me today to set up an appointment to come fix it. This means there's no way I can make my deadline, which was possible before the instrument trouble started. I left work around 6, and made it home just in time to meet Gerti to go see Thor (which made my day a little better!). Then I headed to the dance at church. There's a guy here for a few weeks who taught ballroom in Tennessee, and I was dying to know how good he was. We danced a lot...rumba, foxtrot, samba, hustle...my night was made (mostly...seeing the guy I've had my eye on show up with someone else was a little downer). The only thing that could have made it better was a waltz! Additionally, someone else asked me to teach him to dance-I'm looking forward to it immensely. I hope he's serious. Some of us then headed to the riverwalk to show around the guys from Austin. It was a really, really late night for me.

Saturday I went to work. I accomplished what I could and headed home to find mouse droppings in my kitchen. Never have I seen nor heard a mouse in my apartment, but obviously there is one. I put all of my silverware in the dishwasher and laid out by the pool for a while. I got a text message from the friend I was supposed to go to the rodeo with that night saying he wasn't able to go. I went to the designated meeting point just in case anyone else showed up-Vanessa was there. We decided to see a movie instead, and saw Water for Elephants, which I didn't like at all. Watching people and animals be abused is not my idea of quality entertainment. I came home to more mouse droppings and went to bed.

Sunday morning I discovered that my kitchen sink has been leaking. The paper towels I had stored there were soaked and moldy. I emptied the cupboard and surveyed the damage. The cupboard and wall underneath were moldy, and there were some insects down there. I got the raid, and sprayed them. I think only one died, and I set about trying to clean up (I was expecting people for breakfast in about a half hour). I did what I could, and covered the mold with bleach wipes, making a mental note to call about it Monday morning. Church was good, and I went home and talked to an old friend and my brother on the phone before going to bed.

I woke up (late) today to a giant roach in my living room. I went for the broom and dustpan, and swept him up to discover that he was alive, not dead! Opening the door to my porch, I tossed him out as quickly as possible. I changed, fed Gus and ran out the door to head to work. Just as I reached the car I realized that Sunday night was a baby shower I was meant to attend and completely forgot about.

I thought bad things came in groups of three, but by my count I'm up to nine. It's a multiple if three, so does that make it over? Meanwhile, I've remembered that counting my blessings is a great way to forget about all of the bad things that happen in life. I have good friends who are willing to help me out, a job, enough money to be able to afford and expensive car repair, stability, health, faith, talents, and a wonderful supportive family. Life is good, even if it gets frantic sometimes.

Simone

2011-05-17T13:20:00.001-05:00

This week has had a rough start. I guess it started last week. I had the ac in the truck looked at, and subsequently recharged. They recommended I come back in a few days so they could check for leaks in the system. I returned yesterday to be told that my compressor was leaking, and needed to be replaced. I had the shuttle take me back to work and waited for a call to tell me they were on their way to pick me up. I got the call, but instead of coming to pick me up, the call was to inform me that my thermal fan clutch was also broken, and also needed to be replaced. So, several hundred dollars later, I have what (I hope) is a fully functioning ac, but I missed my Monday night soccer game.

In an attempt to cheer myself up after spending so much (if I lived in Cali I wouldn't have bothered to fix the ac at all), I called Freebirds to order myself a delicious burrito for dinner. When I arrived to pick it up, the guy at the register looked at the bag in the warmer and said "It's not ready yet." with a puzzled look on his face. The girl behind him asked me about my order-"Was it carnitas on cayenne?" I answered in the affirmative, and she pulled a bag out of the warmer. It looked like this:

So I guess I have a new nickname.

LASIK

2011-04-26T13:04:00.000-05:00

After much thought, I decided to have LASIK surgery. I've worn contacts or glasses since I was 15 years old-half my life! I had a few appointments and screenings, asked a lot of questions of doctors, and friends who had the surgery recently. I also talked to my dad who had the surgery several years ago and still loves it. I was pretty nervous going in, but had a priesthood blessing the night before, and thought, "I can do anything for 15 minutes". And that's all the actual surgery took! Admittedly, it was probably the strangest 15 minutes of my life-between the eye patch for the eye they weren't working on, the Valium, and the light I was supposed to be concentrating on the words alien abduction come to mind, but it was totally worth it! When I got up from the chair I could see things across the room clearer than I had in years. I woke up the next day and drove myself to my follow-up appointment, where I was informed I now see 20/15! I think my left eye had been about 20/200. What a difference! I do have the lovely blood spots pictured below, which I find a little creepy, but they say my eyes will clear up in 2-4 weeks.

I also have these awesome goggles that I get to wear to bed so I don't inadvertently rub my eyes or dis-place the flap. Good thing I live alone:)

In other news, Gus has decided that I'm not so big and scary as he first thought I was. In fact, he's started getting much bolder than he ever has. I've added a few pictures so y'all can see how cute he is!

Progress!

Guatemala three-Patients

2011-04-17T12:03:00.002-05:00

I know it's been a while since my last Guatemala post. Life is busy! This post is a collection of pictures of some of the patients we saw at clinic.

These two little boys complained about their ears hurting-Wendy worked her magic with an ear curette and pulled out giant gobs of ear wax. They wanted to take the earwax home with them.

I spent a lot of time in triage, especially at the beginning of the trip, so I had the opportunity to see a lot of people. I love the character in the faces that follow-these people are wonderful. They are humble, kind, and work harder for their living than most Americans have ever thought about working. It was such a blessing to be around them, and to know that I was part of a group that was helping.

I wish I had a picture of these two standing next to each other. I think that if there were two of this lady standing on each others shoulders they wouldn't add up to Kade's height!

These women were patiently waiting to see our gynecologist. Many of our patients waited for hours without complaint.

This little boy was quite happy to have been seen by an American doctor...he gave both Amy and me kisses before he left with his mother.

Dear Texas...

2011-03-25T14:53:00.002-05:00

92 degrees tomorrow? What happened to spring? Is it too much to ask for 60's or 70's and some spring showers?

Guatemala installment two-Churches and folklore

2011-03-17T22:22:00.002-05:00

Antigua was the capital of Guatemala for many years-it was the third capital of the country, and remained the capital until a large earthquake flattened most of the city, which was subsequently abandoned for many, many years. As a result, the city is a step into the past, and littered with the ruins of what was once there. The streets are all cobblestone, and walking though you might come upon a ruin located next to a store, a restaurant, or a hotel. I loved walking through the city and imagining what once was. The architecture is beautiful.

I don't know what all the churches are, but the city is littered with them-I believe my guide book said over 30 churches in the city before the earthquake.

The church above was on the corner of the block where our hotel was located the second week of my stay. I loved walking past it each day. The picture is taken from the roof of Ray's hotel, which is about four stories up and gave a great view of the city. Below is a picture taken looking at the church from street level.

This ruin was used for a wedding while we were in the city. There was a man dressed up as a footman with a horse drawn carriage covered in flowers waiting for the wedding to end. I was happy to see that even the ruins are made use of, and noticed that several things that were ruins ten years ago when I was in the city have been restored.

Another ruin, we passed this one on the way out of Antigua for our weekend in the mountains at the Earth Lodge.

This one had a Boy Scout crest on the door.

I believe this is the church that my host family went to-the family I lived with ten years ago when I was on a study abroad. I had lots of moments where I thought I remembered things, but the city has changed so much it was often hard to know what was accurate and what just looked familiar.

I definitely remember this pila (where the Guatemalan women come to do their laundry by hand). My teacher and I walked past it several times. Once when we were walking she told me the story of La Llorona (the crying woman). This woman, who was named Maria, was very beautiful. When she was young she had many suitors, and in spite of her poor family married a rich man. The first few years of their marriage were wonderful, and she bore him two sons. After the birth of her second child, however, he started to spend more and more time away from home. He still visited, but paid her little attention, and focused on the children when he was home. She took the boys for a walk along the river one day, and he passed in a carriage with an elegant looking woman as his companion. He stopped and talked to the children, but as usual ignored her then drove on. In a fit of rage, she threw her sons into the river. As her anger subsided, she realized what she had done, and raced down the river to find her children but was unsuccessful. She uttered mournful cries and continued to search the river for her children as the days passed. As people encountered her, they started calling her La Llorona, because of her constant cries. She grew thin, then emaciated, then skeleton-like as she could only pace the river bank wailing and looking for her lost children. Eventually, she herself died along the river bank, still searching for her sons. The legend tells that at nighttime near any body of water (including something as small as a pila), she can be heard wailing, and sometimes a gaunt figure in a white dress appears.

Sweet dreams!

Guatemala...installment one

2011-03-15T21:57:00.001-05:00

Several angles of La Merced, my favorite church in Antigua. I believe it is also a convent, but I've yet to take a tour of the whole thing. Note the Jacaranda tree blooming below-the purple was a great contrast to the yellow, and the tree itself reminded me of Australia (even though the trees are originally from Central America).

La Merced from down the street where the Santa Catalina arch is located (pictures of the arch in another post). Both the church and the arch are landmarks in the city. The street is typical of Antigua, and most of the cities I saw in Guatemala, though the streets in Antigua are in good repair compared to most, and are extremely clean. I love all the color!

Another typical street in Antigua. Again, I love the color. The large, imposing mountain in the background is actually the Volcon de Agua, or the water volcano. I caught it on a relatively clear day-usually there aren't clouds in the morning, but by early afternoon the cone is obscured by cloud cover.

Another typical street-the street where my hotel for the first week was located. Just a block from La Merced. I shared quarters with a family practice doctor the first night. For the rest of the week, my $16 a night room was all mine. Two med students, one teacher and her husband also stayed in the hotel, and they were good company for after clinic dinners. Clayton (one of the med students) and I spent a good deal of time wandering the streets of Antigua after clinic and engaging in deep and meaningful conversations.

Speaking of my hotel, here is the entrance. Central American cities amaze me. Almost all the facades look the same, and you never know what you'll get when you pass through the doors. It might be a small store selling snacks and sodas, or a fancy hotel that covers at least a city block.

Ray is the friend that got me in contact with the group. This was his third trip to Guatemala with the group, and he was good company most of the time...in this instance he makes a good prop for a photo of an interesting entrance and lots and lots of bougainvillea.

He also snapped this lovely photo of me while we were wandering the city our second night there. We'd attended church in the morning and decided to see what we could see walking around the city.


I thought these sinks were funny. The masks are typical of Guatemala-they are linked to the Mayan culture and come in all shapes and sizes. I bought a couple when I was in the city ten years ago. Anyhow, this is long enough for now. It's past my bed time, and I'm tired of fighting with Blogger about where I want the pictures and in what order. I'm sorry this has taken so long to post. There has been a lot of sorting through pictures, and copying other peoples pictures from Facebook. I realized when I got home and started looking through pictures that I hadn't taken nearly enough of us while we were in clinic. Anyhow, I hope you've enjoyed your quick tour through Antigua. Another will shortly follow!

Some notes

2011-03-08T21:00:00.002-06:00

I should not go grocery shopping hungry. I came home with a cake mix, Cadbury mini eggs, jelly beans, the ingredients for Rice Krispy treats, and some other things that I don't really need but sounded really good!
I'm amazed at what someone can miss in two weeks-two friends had loved ones pass, two got engaged, one announced a pregnancy, and one moved into my apartment complex. There are probably additional things that I don't know I missed yet.
I should have taken more pictures in Guatemala.
I just got home and the next three Saturdays are planned, and I had little to say about it.
Finding the perfect gift for someone is supremely satisfying.
I feel like I'm living on the edge-drinking tap water and eating fruits, veggies and icecream. Two weeks not being able to will do that to you.
Guatemala pictures are forthcoming-the film is developed, I just need to sort.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T21:50:00.001-06:00

I have done some amazing things in my life, many of which I doubt I would have been able to do were I married. That being said, being single isn't always as fantastic as it is in the midst of my past experiences. I know people who fret about being single, and especially on Valentine's Day find it easy to dwell on the fact that they're single, and unfortunately it's easy for them to be bitter and angry about being alone. I never want to be one of those people. This Valentine's Day, I've thought about the wonderful people I've had the opportunity to date, and thought I might list some of the things that I appreciated most about past relationships. If you don't want to read a bunch of sappy anecdotes, stop here!

I saw some people walking home from school today carrying giant teddy bears and roses, and remembered the first time I actually had a valentine. My high school boyfriend had his mom bring flowers to him at school so he could give them to me at lunch. I think it was the first time someone other than family had done something so thoughtful for me, and I'll never forget how it made me feel.

If you know me at all, you know I love to dance. A boyfriend and I were driving around town doing errands. He brought a CD he wanted me to listen to. When the second or third song came on, he said "this is a great song to dance to", and skipped it. I was confused, but didn't say anything. A few minutes later, he pulled into the empty parking lot at our church, skipped back to that song, and asked me to dance with him in the parking lot under the stars.

I dated a friend in California one summer when I was home from BYU. After I went back to school, we were talking about how cloudy and rainy it had been the past week in Utah, and how I missed the California sun. The next day, I came home to a huge vase of sunflowers and a note that said "Sending you a little sun to brighten your day".

One spring semester I dated a guy who loved a block and a half from where I lived. We used to walk to and from school together often. I loved sharing an umbrella with him. Even more, I loved it when he kissed me under the umbrella! Lucky for me, it rained a lot that spring.

That same man liked to take me skiing with him-he was a much better skier than I, and constantly encouraged me to try things I might not have been brave enough to try on my own. He was always there to collect my scattered gear when I fell, and called me the cutest snowball he'd ever seen.

While I was in Australia, I dated someone who rode a scooter everywhere (it's very European; doesn't have the same stigma attached there as it does here). One day on my way to school with my roommate, we noticed he was in front of us. We got stopped at a red light. I hopped out of the car, ran up to where he was stopped, and planted a big kiss on him before he even realized who I was. This same person knew me so well that he could tell if something was wrong just from the tone of my voice. Few people in my life are able to do so, and it meant a lot to me that he could.

One of my Texans learned to dance for me, and used to dance with me in his kitchen.

Another one would DVR my favorite show and make me dinner so we could watch together, cuddled up on his couch.

I hope you've enjoyed my walk down memory lane. There have been so many people in my life that I am grateful for, and while things didn't work out with any of the men I mentioned above, they were all great examples to me of what I want. I hope I spoiled them as much as they spoiled me. The man in my future has some big shoes to fill!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Partial Parody

2011-02-12T15:34:00.000-06:00

To jog or not to jog, that is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the guilty knowledge of laziness,
Or to take arms against apathy, and by opposing, end it.
To jog, to laze no more, and by a jog we end the sitting and the movies that the natural man is prone to.
'Tis an exercise devoutly to be wished.
To jog, perchance to run, ay there's the rub.
For on that run what dogs may be encountered when we have shuffled on our running shoes must increase our pace...

Gus-Gus

2011-02-07T23:05:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm not making much progress with Gus. He's been eating out of my hand for several months, and I was pretty sure things were at a stand-still, and I wasn't too sure how to proceed. Then, I got him to stand on my finger by bribing him with food!

First just one foot, and after a couple of days, both feet. Needless to say, I was pretty excited about it! I think this step made my hand something to be less afraid of, and he's now willing to come close enough to touch it-usually with his beak.

It's kind of like his beak and my finger are cuddling-he is a love bird, after all. But occasionally, he does this:

Usually not hard enough to hurt. He seems to be interested in the fact that my nails are at the end of my fingers. I love having a pet to interact with-much more fun than fish.

Sorry if the chirping is really shrill. This is our normal, nightly interaction. It makes me wonder about normal love bird behavior, and if any of it means anything. I think he might be trying to groom me, which I figure is a good sign. Eventually I hope he'll stand on my finger, then sit on my shoulder, but for now, I'm happy with a little bit of progress and bites that don't draw blood.

SNOW!

2011-02-04T13:04:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning hoping for some snow. When I looked out the window, I couldn't tell if there was anything, but when I opened the door to my balcony I saw:

What a welcome, lovely sight. I've been waiting for winter to arrive in San Antonio since I moved here almost three years ago.

I've been at work for almost an hour, and the place is a tomb. One has to wonder why they didn't close-all the schools in town are out for the day, our institute activity for the night is canceled, and while I felt safe enough driving to work at noon, I did hit some ice.

Meanwhile, I've enjoyed wearing all of my real winter clothes for the past few days-sweaters that are usually too thick for Texas, scarves, gloves, and the hat I bought in Norway. Life is good!

Getting older

2011-01-27T15:28:00.001-06:00

I realize that I'm not really old, but this is the oldest I've ever been! In my head, I guess I still think I'm 20. Yesterday was a prime example. Wednesdays at lunch I attend a yoga class. It's wonderful, and in spite of the fact that watching yoga brings thoughts of tranquility my teacher usually gives us a challenging class, and I'm often sore the next day. Add to that a soccer game against one of the more athletic teams in our league, and volleyball after Bible study and you get a sore morning the next day! I have bruises in funny places, and floorburn on the top of my foot! I guess the moral of my night is to take it a little easier on myself.

Double standard and a dating question

2011-01-21T14:29:00.000-06:00

Talking to a friend (who happens to be a guy) about a group gathering tonight. I asked who was going to be there, and made a joke about not coming because none of the guys would date a girl who is older than they are (and I happen to be older than all of them). His response said something like M's not your type, and D's a baby (D must be at least 25, he's graduated from college and served a mission). This from a man who is maybe six months my minor and asks 19 year old girls for dates.

I asked why he didn't think M was my type. He said something about how good I am at meeting goals and said M and guys like him are not that good-not bad, but not up to my level. So I'm either too old to be dated or too good. Is there really a too good, or is this just an excuse? (I think it's an excuse, and a lousy one at that)

Quotes

2011-01-18T09:49:00.000-06:00

We had a quote board at BYU. While it occasionally got me in trouble (Random, do you really have to bring up things I said 8 years ago?), I loved being able to look back on things we said that made us laugh and have another good laugh. To preserve more laughable moments, I'll try to post quotes on my blog as they come along.

I had some people over for dinner Sunday night. I was sitting on the couch with Noel. Matt sat down between us and Richard said "Matt, you're a hot girl sandwich!"

Matt answered "Does that make me the meat?"

My response? "No, it's a cheese sandwich."

Lucy

2011-01-16T13:46:00.000-06:00

I am dog-sitting. I count myself lucky, I have a friend with a fantastic dog, and he trusts me enough to leave her with me. For 10 days this time. While the rain here in San Antonio has been hampering my plans to take her for long walks and possibly to the park, it gave me an excuse to spend a night grooming. Lucy is a golden retriever. I have a friend at work with a dog of the same breed, and we thought Lucy and Bourbon would enjoy a play date. It would also be a lot easier to bathe Lucy in the tub Nicole and Ben have set up for Bourbon's baths, so after work on Friday, Lucy and I braved driving in the rain and headed north. Lucy and Bourbon got acquainted, and Nicole pulled out the FURminator-possibly the best shedding brush I've ever seen. We got to work on Lucy, figuring we'd give her a once over before we put her in the tub and blocked up the pipes with all the fur. Below is the result:

Lucy may have lost 5 pounds! Unfortunately, she had some big mats that we had to cut out of her tail, so it's not as nice and bushy as it used to be, but her coat looks fantastic, and we had a productive evening! Hopefully the rain will clear up this next week so we can get active.

Thought of You - by Ryan Woodward

2011-01-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

Love my Alma-mater. Makes me want to take a ballet class.

The Post I'd Planned

2010-12-29T22:25:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving was eventful, to put it mildly. I had a lovely time at home, enjoyed seeing my brother for the first time in a long while, and loved being in California. It was when I had to come back to Texas that the fun started. As usual, I checked in to my flight the day before, so I just went up to the gate when I got to the airport. My flight was delayed. For 40 minutes. My time to catch the next plane in Phoenix was 45 minutes-we see the first problem. I asked the gate agent about the possibilities of me catching my flight. He said he didn't know, and asked me to come back in 5 minutes. I did so, and was then informed that I'd for sure miss my flight, and that they would book me on the next flight, which left at 7:45 instead of 4:10, and got me back to San Antonio at 11pm instead of 7pm. So much for grocery shopping and laundry before going back to work the next day. At least I have friends in Phoenix that might rescue me from 4 hours at the airport...so I did what any red blooded American girl would do with the prospect of seeing an old friend she may still be harboring a crush for-I went in the airport bathroom and primped.

Before our flight boarded, they announced that since the flight was full they would check our bags and waive the fee. I thought, I might as well check my bag. I might get to do something with Shelly or Ray in Phoenix, and it might be nice not to have the bag. The thought crossed my mind that I might want my running shoes from the bag, but I checked the bag anyhow. Got on the plane and flew to Phoenix. Got off the plane and tried to get in touch with Shelly. She already had plans, so I called Ray. He called me back and wanted to go for a run. I said I'd see what I could do to get my bag back-remember the running shoes? Shouldn't have checked the bag. I asked someone from the airlines about the possibilities of getting my bag and was told it was a lost cause. I went out and met Ray, proud of myself that I remembered what color his new car was, and laughing at the dynamics of our complicated, yet much appreciated, friendship. We caught up on the short drive to his apartment, and I consented to go for a jog with him wearing his old running shoes (which were sure to be too big).

I was right, his shoes were too big. I also borrowed sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a pair of socks. Even wearing two pairs of socks, his shoes were too big. Ray put on a long sleeved shirt and shorts, and I remembered how he used to push one sleeve up and leave the other down (funny the minuscule things one remembers). I pulled my hair back into a ponytail as we chatted before we left and broke my hair tie. Reason number two why I shouldn't have checked the bag-there were others in it. No worries, I tied it in a knot and made due. We took off on our jog and I realized some things never change. He kindly waited for me-it was dry and high in Phoenix compared to San Antonio, and I hadn't run in a week or so. Running allows time to chat, so we caught up. Interestingly, he was the first person to hear some family news because he asked about it-not the first person I'd planned on telling, but it was good to have a friend, as the news wasn't really good. We enjoyed the outdoors, and the hills (something else we don't have in San Antonio), and made it back in time to fix dinner and head back to the airport. He made dinner while we chatted some more, and put it in some easy to transport dishes. He handed me a fork and we headed back to the airport. We pulled up to the curb and started dinner, wondering out loud how long we'd be allowed to stay there. Technically he was there to drop me off, so we weren't parked. We ate and chatted and inched forward at a snail's pace, but it was enough to appease the man who was there controlling the traffic. We watched people-several Asian businessmen with practically no luggage (where were they going so late without luggage?), a lady who stopped her Lexus in the second lane away from the curb and hopped out...headed for the terminal locking the car as she walked away. Eventually we finished dinner and I headed back to the terminal to await my flight back to Texas.

Our plane landed and I anxiously awaited my luggage. Which never showed up. Reason three I should never have checked it. Without going in to details (because it will just annoy me again), the airline's customer service left much to be desired, and I didn't get my bag back for two days. I was slightly stressed, as I wanted to be practicing for the performance, but was without my flute, which was in the bag I never should have checked. Eventually things worked themselves out. At least I have some stories to take away, and have been reminded again that I have good friends.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-28T13:52:00.001-06:00

I know this is a little late...but I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas, as I did. I was lucky enough to start a couple of weeks early with a visit to St. Louis and the Gubler family. The boys are growing up so fast! We played, read, enjoyed each others company, and I got my Christmas wish of a little snow. Hopefully it didn't foul up the workings of the city too much-I'm told St. Louis doesn't usually get much snow. Cynthia threw me a late all black birthday party to mourn the end of a certain un-named decade in my life. I'm still waiting for the recipe for the delicious cake she baked!

I came back to SA for some work (and some time off since I caught a sniffle in the frozen north), and a week later mom and dad arrived. We had a good visit, though I was a little sick for it. Dad continued his reputation (hunting=camping with guns) by going on a doe hunt and seeing only bucks. For Christmas day, we cooked a turducken. In one word, it was delicious! I invited two friends who weren't going home for the holiday (both male), and we laughed that their presents included art, a sewing machine and cooking supplies, while I got a set of combination wrenches and a GPS. I guess mom and dad were tired of calls that went something like:

Me: Are you at home?

Them: Yes, we are.

Me: Can you go to the computer, please. I'm _____________, and I'm lost. I need to get to ______________. Can you please tell me how to get there from here?

My new back seat driver came equipped with the option for an Australian accent, which I happily accepted over Sponge Bob or Dora's voices (which I could have downloaded from the website). Though, thinking about it now, it might be good for me to set the language to Spanish for a while, as I'm venturing back to Central America in a couple of months. I've been accepted as a volunteer on a medical mission to Antigua. I'll spend two weeks translating for doctors, dentists and optometrists. While I'm looking forward to the experience, I believe my Spanish needs a little refreshing. It will be fun to explore the city again, serve the people, and spend some evenings with Random. I am looking forward anxiously to the Pan de Chocolate y Naranja from Dona Luisa. I remember eating lots of it many years ago. I'll have to dig through my memories to see if I still have the place mat with the map, so it will be easy to find.

It has been lovely to hear about what some of you are doing through Christmas letters, cards and emails. All the best in the New Year!

Not the post I'd planned...

2010-12-07T10:27:00.001-06:00

I have been meaning to write a Thanksgiving post. My trip home was eventful in so many ways, but I can't seem to find the time to write everything I'd like to. In fact, it seems hard to find the time to do much right now. I love the holidays:)

I thought as I was checking the weather and putting on my snowflake earrings this morning about how I miss the seasons. Which got me wondering, do I really miss the seasons, or is my memory playing tricks on me? There were bitter (to a Californian) cold mornings at BYU when the thought of walking to my 7AM class through the cold filled me with dread. Nonetheless, I did so, enjoyed class, and lived to tell about it. Then again, there were beautiful, crisp mornings when I was the first one to walk through the freshly fallen snow on our block. I loved that. I guess I'll get a little taste of winter this weekend while in St. Louis. I'm happy to report it's supposed to snow one of the days when I'm there, and the high for my 4 day trip is 47 degrees. Brrrrrrr.

Airport plan

2010-11-18T20:10:00.001-06:00

I've been hearing a lot lately about airport security. As I have booked two trips in the next month or so, I am not happy about the possibility of either being exposed to "safe" radiation (but not if you look at a Berkley study) and thinking about a TSA officer looking at me sans clothes, or being patted down extensively. I was patted down once before-I think I was flying from the east coast to the west. Their old non-invasive pat down made me uncomfortable-I can't imagine how violated I'd feel if subjected to the new one. Therefore, I have devised an airport plan. You may recall I was in Norway a few months ago. While there, I purchased this:

My plan is to wear the above item of clothing with my bathing suit underneath. If/when they choose to select me for the additional search, I will refuse both the radiation and pat down, unzip the onsie, strip to my togs and ask politely what more they need to see.

Goldilocks and the Lab Chairs

2010-11-16T15:56:00.001-06:00

Goldilocks had been trapped in the Illumina lab and her office for several weeks. Finally, it was the day when she would return to her normal lab. She was a little worried. Once or twice when she was trapped, she walked by the lab and saw the big, bad post-doc sitting in her chair (okay, so he's not really big and bad, but it sounds better that way). Because Goldilocks was the only one who regularly pushes in her chair in the lab, she worried that her chair would get lost in the shuffle. When she arrived at the lab, no one else was there. She put on her lab coat, donned gloves and hopped into the chair in front of her work bench. "This chair slopes too much", she thought, and hopped down. She pushed that chair out of the way and tried the second chair. "The back of this chair is two low", thought Goldilocks and stood up again. Trying the third chair, she thought "This chair is just right" and proceeded to set up her PCR.

Between scoring another goal at soccer yesterday, winning a turkey at the turkey trot today, and finding her lab chair, Goldilocks figures it will be a pretty good week.

Birthday

2010-11-15T14:30:00.000-06:00

Why didn't I know about this before?? There will be a Bear Valley trip for my next birthday!

X

2010-11-12T10:26:00.004-06:00

Several good reasons...guess I have a couple more frogs to kiss before I find Prince Charming

Finally

2010-11-10T22:07:00.000-06:00

I scored! I was near the goal, someone passed me the ball, and I tapped it right past the keeper into the net. And it felt just as good as I imagined it would. The only thing that could have made the game better would have been staying on my feet when I was going for my second goal of the game. Unfortunately, the goalie's leg got in my way and I ended up in the grass.

Good game, team red:)

Success!

2010-11-08T22:09:00.001-06:00

My goal as of late with Gus has been to get him to eat from my hand. When we started out, he flew to the opposite side of the cage as soon as I put my hand in, usually making some unhappy squeaking.

Next, he decided it might be okay to reach for food from his dish that I had balanced on my hand.

Eventually, he decided he could sit on the bowl in my hand and eat.

And now, he eats from my bare hand!

He occasionally decides to give a finger a try instead of his seed. This results in a firm scolding. Hopefully he'll learn what "Don't bite" means soon. Though he hasn't bitten me hard enough to draw blood again, it still hurts a bit. I'm happy to be making progress with my little guy. I think he's adorable.

The video is when he was deciding whether it was really a good idea to eat out of my hand. I think his little sideways back and forth dance is cute. Now he just comes right down and gives my hand a good stare down before he eats.

Next year

2010-11-05T12:39:00.001-05:00

I'm thinking of carving a pumpkin next year...

Band Aids

2010-11-04T09:59:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a little about quick fixes versus getting to the root of the problem. While I was talking to my dad yesterday, he mentioned having scratched himself with a tree branch while working in the orchard. Due to his medications, his blood doesn't clot like it used to, and he ended up with blood on his arm and his shirt before he noticed. He found a band aid in his truck, and eventually stopped the bleeding. Band aids may be something he carries around now, to compensate for the changed clotting ability his blood has because of medication. In this case, a band aid was really what he needed. The root cause of bleeding may have been preventable, but was not unusual, and will probably be a re-occurring incident. Problem fixed.

San Antonio is now the 7th fattest city in the US. While that's an improvement (we were #3 last year), it's still not great. I heard a proposed solution on the radio this morning. At a YMCA on the south side of town, bicycles will be given away in order to encourage an active life style. Those who receive free bikes will have a 6 month check up to see if they've been using the bicycles. My guess is that the bikes will be taken with good intentions, but when city dwellers realize how terrible biking in San Antonio is, they will hide the bikes in a corner of their garage and give up. Within weeks. I say this because I tried to bike to work for several months. I certainly live within a reasonable biking distance, and had no problem with the physical effort, in fact, I enjoyed it. The problem was the lack of infrastructure for bikers. There are no bike lanes in most of the city, in fact there are few shoulders on the roads and practically no sidewalks once you leave neighborhoods and get onto main roads. San Antonio drivers are terrible to begin with. Add bikes and the equation becomes exponentially worse. Inexperienced bikers expect traffic to yield to them, drivers unused to and not expecting bikes are surprised and angry at the lack of courtesy shown by bikers, and because they are so exposed, bikers are at risk for injury or death. I can't remember how many people told me stories about bikers being hit and left by the side of the road before I gave up biking to work, but I decided my safety was more important than my desire to save on gas money and be fit. The bikes being given away are a sorry excuse for a band aid in an attempt to fix San Antonio's fat status. Lifestyle changes are needed. If the city powers that be want people to get out and be fit (bike, walk, etc.), San Antonio city structure should encourage that lifestyle. I know that changing city structure is more expensive than giving away a few bikes, I'm just saying I believe in approaching the problem from a broader view.

Lastly, a couple of people have apologized to me recently. One for an action he took which he thought offended me, and another for holding a grudge about something I said that, unbeknownst to me, hurt her feelings. The first instance hadn't really offended me, though I had thought the actions taken were inappropriate. While the second didn't remember what exactly I'd said, I'm sure she remembered how it made her feel. Holding on to those feelings were hurting her more, and asking forgiveness allowed her to start healing. Genuine apologies are more than a band aid. Yet these two instances made me wonder if there was anything I could have done to avoid the hurt completely. Was what I said to her unfeeling or thoughtless? I don't think anyone likes to find out they've hurt someone they care about, yet we do it often. Why is it so easy to offend and be offended?

Memories

2010-10-29T09:51:00.001-05:00

Okay, maybe only one memory. Some people at work (myself included) are dressing up for Halloween today. To ruin the surprise, my costume is a ladybug. I have wings, and antennae, and red sequined shoes. I've been agonizing about what to wear in addition to the above mentioned accouterments. A black dress (which I don't have and haven't been able to shop for), a black shirt and pants, shorts, a skirt? This morning I finally settled on black leggings with my ballet skirt over them-not a look that I'm in love with normally, but it's Halloween, so everyone looks odd, right? However, I work in a lab, and while I'm in the lab doing lab work, I like to have pants on. Just in case. So I pulled my jeans on over the leggings (and fishnets), slipped on my shoes and headed off to work. I noticed that my jeans don't feel right. I feel a little pudgy, which is silly, since I'm skinny. I started wondering how I wore leggings under my pants for so many years at BYU when there wasn't enough time to change between dance class and whichever chemistry class was next. Maybe that's why most of my jeans from college are too big now.

Weather or not...

2010-10-25T07:36:00.000-05:00

Really, Texas? It's the end of October. Isn't it about time for fall weather?

Weekend adventures

2010-10-19T12:23:00.001-05:00

I think my favorite thing about Texas (other than my friends, of course), is the amazing BBQ. They don't just BBQ things, they cover things in a rub and slow cook them in a smoker until they are mouth wateringly delicious. A friend of mine mentioned a few months back that he was going to build himself a smoker out of two ceramic pots. He generously shared with me all of the research he'd done, and I proceeded to build my own. Over conference weekend I smoked a chicken. Since that worked, I decided it was time to try a brisket...the holy grail of smoking. I asked a few friends for tips, bought a brisket and set my alarm for super early Saturday AM, as I knew a brisket could take upwards of 12 hours to smoke. Below is the smoker in all its glory. Unfortunately you can't see all of the smoke issuing from the cracks, but be assured, it's there.

The brisket was a success. I thought it was a little strong Saturday night, but the friends that came over to share it with me assured me it was quite tasty. For me, it was certainly better the day after. I will be repeating the project and trying to hone my rub making skills and experiment with different types of wood.

Gus has been making slow progress-he's not as scared of me as he was when I first got him, but he's still not ready to let me touch him. If I put his food dish in my hand and hold it in the cage for long enough, he'll make his way over and eat out of the dish. I did this on Sunday morning with the cage door open to accommodate my arm. When Gus decided he was done eating, instead of hopping on to the perch right next to him, he flew over my shoulder and landed in the middle of the living room. I decided that instead of traumatizing him by trying to catch him right away I'd let him roam a little, after all, he wasn't getting in to trouble. I laid on the floor so I could watch him and proceeded to go over my Sunday school lesson

He seemed to like the shelf under the table where his cage sits. He tried to eat the seed in the glass jars a couple of times. I couldn't get a picture of it this time, but I assure you it was quite cute. After wandering around in the kitchen and living room, he settled into a spot under the table, fluffed himself up, and prepared for a nap.This was when I decided it was time for him to go back in to his cage. I chased him around the apartment for a while, and finally succeeded in returning him to his proper place.

Copying Shelly

2010-09-30T10:45:00.000-05:00

My friend Shelly has started a blog for letters she has written. While I don't intend to start another blog, I thought it was a great idea to send letters (especially commending businesses for things I appreciate), and am including my first below.

Dear Dairy Queen,
Often I want ice cream, but portion sizes are way too big for me to eat myself, let alone for my health. Thank you for the new mini size blizzard that gives me the chance to satisfy my craving for ice cream without overindulging.
Thanks,

Janelle Bentz

Welcome fall!

2010-09-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

I love the "fall" weather that has come to San Antonio. It's still hot during the days, but not the scorching, sweltering heat we've had all summer, and it cools down considerably at night. Enough so that I can open my windows and enjoy the fresh air. I've seen people in sweat shirts (though I think it's still too hot). The only thing that bothers me is this:

That little pollen level thing is probably why I've started sneezing. I guess it's time to start loading up on antihistamines.

I want one!

2010-09-28T15:24:00.004-05:00

Check this out!

...but where would I keep it?

New sofa

2010-09-27T11:11:00.002-05:00

Well, after about a year of debating the issue, I bought myself a new sofa. The one I have was given to me by a friend when I first moved here-the sentimental value is infinite, but I want something a little more permanent since I am after all no longer a college student. I'm taking baby steps toward grown-up hood, this is the next one. It should arrive sometime in the next two weeks. If you know anyone who needs a couch, they can have my old one:)

Woes

2010-09-23T13:54:00.001-05:00

I got my hair cut yesterday. After thinking about it for a while, and realizing that the last time I had it cut was when I donated it in February (or was it January?), I decided that it was time for a trim, and maybe some long layers. Nothing too dramatic, just a little shape and less split ends. Something that would grow out well, as I love my hair long and have been anxiously waiting for it to grow out. So after work I ventured to an un-named hair salon. I chatted with Desi about what I wanted-just a little shape, maybe a little shorter around my face for framing, long layers, I'm trying to grow it out, I wear it up to work, so not too short. I thought we had an understanding. More than an hour later, I left with a haircut I hate. It looks a little too much like a mullet for my taste. What were supposed to be long layers are way too short layers, and most of the front now falls out when I try to put my hair in a ponytail. The back poofs out, and I'm afraid of what will happen tomorrow when I do it curly-I'm envisioning an explosion. And I was so looking forward to cute trimmed hair with my new dress on Sunday. Now I have to figure out how to hide the mess until Tuesday, when I have an appointment with someone new to get this fixed. Unfortunately, that means going even shorter, and waiting even longer until I have long hair again. What a silly thing to be worried about, yet I almost cried yesterday when I got home.

It will grow out.

Eventually.

Meanwhile...here's the proof I should have known, for your viewing pleasure.

Dance!

2010-09-21T10:30:00.001-05:00

Love this...a friend posted it on his Facebook. Obviously, a friend I used to dance with-I think all of us were at one time or another caught dancing on campus between classes or "fidgeting" in a class as we reviewed something we were learning.

News

2010-09-13T17:00:00.002-05:00

I had written a lovely post with a video of Gus singing along with my music, but the video won't upload. The long and short of it was that I've discovered he really likes music (especially country), and will sing along when it's on-he also jumps from perch to perch. I think it's pretty cute.

Also, not connected, I was doing some laundry on Saturday and discovered my dryer wasn't really working right. I hung up my clothes and thought I'd investigate when I had the time. Today I did a little looking, and found a bird's nest in the outlet for my dryer vent. Too bad it's on the outside of my second floor apartment with no way for me to remove it. I called the apartment office, and they are sending out someone with a ladder to investigate. I hope there aren't babies...if that's the case, I'll be hanging my clothes until they molt and leave the nest!

I've been on a couple of dates with the same person in the past couple of weeks. It's been almost a year since that happened last, and while I don't know that this is really going anywhere, I have to say it's nice to be taken out, and I'm grateful for men who are men. They ask for a date, plan something, and come pick me up at my place of residence. They open my door, ask me questions about myself and are genuinely interested in getting to know me. I hope I make them feel as comfortable and important as they make me feel.

Lastly, what a beautiful CES fireside last night. Elder Scott bore pure testimony of the reality of God's plan of salvation for us, and the importance of marriage in that plan. I loved every minute of it!

Names

2010-09-01T17:37:00.000-05:00

So in spite of some good suggestions, I'm leaning toward Gus...short for Gustav, but who will ever call him that anyhow? I don't know why I like it, but so does my brother and a friend at work, so barring an amazing name that I haven't thought of yet, Gus it is. :)

My New Addition

2010-08-31T22:16:00.006-05:00

I've been wanting a pet for a while. A dog in a small apartment seemed cruel, both for me and the dog, and I don't like cats. I thought about a hedgehog for a while-they are adorable! Unfortunately, they are illegal in several states, and as they have a long lifespan, and since I don't think I'll stay in Texas forever, I thought it wise to pursue a pet that wouldn't have legal problems. So today I added a Fisher's lovebird to my apartment.

I borrowed cages from a friend-a small one for transport, and a larger one what I'll move him to when he's calmed down a little. Meanwhile I'm shopping for cages and waiting for the bird show at the end of September. I'm told it will be a great place to find a nice cage.

While telling the sex is difficult, I think I have a boy, so now the naming saga begins. I'm not good at naming things, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. So far, he's pretty quiet. I expect that's because moving today gave him quite a shock. He squawked a little when I caught him to clip his wings, and I gave up after one wing...he drew blood twice biting me. Looks like I have my work cut out for me...Bird-2, Janelle-1.

I'm thinking about clipping the other wing tomorrow; or maybe I'll give him a little more time to get used to me. If he decides I'm not really a threat, maybe he won't bite so hard!

Score!!

2010-08-27T11:18:00.001-05:00

After I don't know how many years of playing soccer (for teams and pick-up), I finally scored a goal last night!! Just wanted to share the good news.

Happenings

2010-08-23T22:29:00.003-05:00

So I know I have tons more to write about my vacation, but life seems to get in the way. I started this post thinking of a few of things to post, and now I can only remember two.

First, I heard the best song lyrics today..."Hey there cutes put on your dancin' boots and come dance with me" Made me wish I had the opportunity to use it :0)

My second observation is a little more long winded. I've been reading Jane Eyre for a book club some friends started. Having read the book ages ago, I contested the choice, but was out voted and promised I could pick the next book. I've been trying to decide whether to pick a dorky science book I know I'd love, or try to find something that everyone might like. Probably the latter will end up happening. Don't be shy about commenting if you have a recommendation! I'm always looking for a good book.

The other day when I was reading, though, I was surprised to find a passage I liked! I'm putting it here for the benefit of anyone who thinks like I do, or to start an animated conversation between the two people who actually comment on my posts.

To set the scene, there are some visitors at a house, and they are entertaining one another. One of the ladies is sitting at the piano and pontificating as she plays. The following are her observations:

"Of, I am so sick of the young men of the present day! Poor, puny things, not fit to stir a step beyond papa's park gates: nor to go even so far without mamma's permission and guardianship! Creatures so absorbed in care about their pretty faces and their white hands, and their small feet; as if a man had anything to do with beauty! As if loveliness were not the special prerogative of a woman-her legitimate appanage and heritage! I grant an ugly woman is a blot on the fair face of creation; but as to the gentlemen, let them be solicitous to posses only strength and valor: let their motto be-hunt, shoot and fight: the rest is not worth a fillip. Such should be my device, were I a man.

"Whenever I marry I am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to me. I will suffer no competitor near the throne: I shall exact an undivided homage; his devotion shall not be shared between me and the shape he sees in his mirror."

Interesting thoughts about gender roles...

Inception

2010-08-20T12:40:00.002-05:00

I finally saw Inception last night. I really liked it, I found it interesting and complex and full of action. I may need to see it again to understand fully. Amazing what comes out of people's imagination.

My favorite conversation went something like this (to set the scene, there are several people in someone's dream...when the dreamer realizes there are others sharing his dream his subconscious [i.e. the other people in the dream who are neither the dreamer nor the sharers] start looking around for the imposters. Arthur and Ariadne are imposters trying to look inconspicuous.):

Arthur: Quick, give me a kiss!
(they kiss)
Ariadne: They're still looking at us.
Arthur: Yeah, it was worth a shot.

I'd like to try it some time...

Worst day

2010-08-14T21:49:00.001-05:00

So I may be over-reacting, but I think today might have been the worst day ever...even worse than when I broke my collar bone, and possibly worse than the day I had to leave Australia. From getting scolded by the mail man (it's _my_ mail, why can't I take it...I don't want to wait a half hour for you to finish, I intend to be gone by then), to the worst Mexican food ever for lunch (yes, even worse than what I had in Brisbane), to my cherries falling out of the truck when I opened the door to get my groceries, all-in-all, it was a pretty frustrating day for me.

If you see me tomorrow, I may need a hug. Or several.

Change

2010-08-12T09:43:00.004-05:00

After two weeks off, I've come back to live as it was. Monday was soccer, Tuesday I went to the temple, Wednesday was soccer again, and the list continues so that as I look at the weeks ahead I realize that my weekends for the next month are already planned. I might get a free night next Wednesday only because my Bible study class is on break for a couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong, I like to be busy-it keeps me distracted (mostly) from the things I'm unhappy about in life but can't change at this moment.

I took some time last night after soccer to chat with a friend I haven't seen in some time. We talked about some of those things, and as I reflected on our game (and the friends I've made playing and my gratitude for them, and the changes that may happen before next season arrives), and thought about the things we were discussing, I came to a realization that wasn't really surprising, or new.

While there are some things in my life I really want to change, there are other things I would like to keep the same. Now, this may seem intuitive, but here's the problem. Changing the biggest thing I want to change in my life right now would cause several other changes that I see as undesirable. Because of that, in spite of my desire for a change, I'm afraid of it too. This realization makes me wonder if my attempts to change this aspect of my life have, in fact, been half-hearted. I have been making attempts, but have had little success. This lack of success could be a product of many things I have no control over, but what if it is also a product of my fear?

Does anyone know why we are so afraid of change, even when we think it will be a good thing?

Norway, post 2

2010-08-11T21:11:00.006-05:00

First, here's some proof that I did go wading in the fjord...smiling through my chattering teeth. How many people actually get the chance to stick their toes in such beautiful water?

Jared is here having a Cinderella moment and communing with Norwegian wild life. I love the look on his face!

This is along the river in Trondheim. I thought the buildings on stilts were picturesque and quaint. The water was perfect for good reflections that morning.

This is in front of the church building in Oslo. Lucky for us, there were people there who could translate the service-otherwise it would have been a long three hours!

And, a delicious Belgian waffle to end this post. I wish I knew how they got the sugary, crusty outside and the fluffy sweet middle all in the same waffle. We could smell them from 1/2 a block away, and decided that no matter what they were when we got to them we would buy one. Needless to say, they smelled amazing, and tasted just as good.

Norway, post 1

2010-08-08T11:56:00.006-05:00

This is just a post to show off some pictures...the first is the fjord in Trondheim. We took a little drive to have a BBQ and do some swimming here with Mari, Nikolai and some of their friends. Jared actually got in and swam around a bit. I waded in until my teeth were chattering, which meant I only got knee deep.

Our second stop was a town called Fredrikstad. Jared's great-great grandfather came from Fredrikstad to America, so it was a must see, even though there's not a lot there. Pictured below is the menu from where we had dinner. We stared at them until the waiter came. We asked him if he spoke English, and when he said yes we asked if he could translate for us. He had something better...menus in English!

We visited the Cultural Museum in Oslo, where we saw lots of old buildings. I love the way the wood weathers, and the grass on the roof. We were told it's for insulation. There are actually some places (where my friend Mari's family has a cabin) where it is mandated by law that you put grass on your roof. In their case, it's because they are near a national park, and the park service wants the valley below to look natural.

Outside the Viking Ship museum there was a man selling reindeer burgers. We decided they were worth a try...they weren't very good :( I should have opted for another Belgian waffle for lunch!

So there's just a taste of Norway. I'll keep posting as I go through my pictures, and get the film developed from my SLR.

So far...

2010-07-29T15:53:00.003-05:00

Trip highlights so far...
-Burgers at Dave's place in New York-where I finally met my travel buddy...turns out we get along just fine :)
-Carrying luggage all over London while switching airports
-Learning that my limited Norwegian is sufficient...I can greet people and ask them if they speak English. So far everyone has said yes
-Belgian waffles at the Viking ship museum
-Leftsa at the Norwegian culture museum
-Watching the folk dancers at the culture museum
-European chocolate in so many forms
-Seeing old friends and catching up
-Swimming (read wading) in Trondheim's fjord. It was so cold my teeth were chattering by the time I was in up to my knees!
-Trying lots of things at the food festival here in Trondheim

There is lots more, and we have some fun things planned...eventually I'll post pictures, but not until I get home...meanwhile I hope this is sufficient.

Funny

2010-07-19T13:52:00.004-05:00

I had some people over last night...a lot of people, whom I fed. Happily. I love to cook. We then had a lovely gospel discussion about things like charity, purity and the Sacrament, and they fed me with their knowledge and insight. I thought it was a fair trade. None of this is the point of this post, however. The point was for me to relate a funny side conversation that took place in the kitchen between me and an undisclosed male friend who was helping me clean up after dinner.

To set the stage, there was a giant bowl of applesauce with a serving spoon in it on the counter. Well, the bowl was giant, but there was barely any applesauce left. The conversation went something like this:
Him: Do you think there's enough applesauce left to save?
Me: No, I'll just eat it so we don't have to worry about it...that spoon won't fit in my mouth-can you give me a small spoon? (I think he thought I said something about being a small spoon)
Him: You want to be the big spoon?
Me: (Getting the spoon myself because I'm just as close to the silverware drawer as he is, and smiling because at this point I'm in on the joke too) No, I like to be the small spoon.
Him: You are what you eat...with?

It made me laugh. Maybe no one else will think it's funny, but at least I'll get a laugh every time I re-read this blog.

Irony

2010-07-13T11:26:00.004-05:00

Some friends and I were talking about books the other day. I mentioned that another group of friends had invited me to participate in a book club, and that I am not enjoying the book which was chosen. As they asked me why and I enumerated my distaste for the characters in the book and their behavior, then had to laugh at the fact that I was complaining about the main character because I think she complains too much. I don't know if I'll make it through the book before the designated time. We've had it about a month (maybe only three weeks), and I'm on page 15. It's not a short book. Maybe I'll just watch the movie:)

Patriotic

2010-07-04T17:56:00.003-05:00

The older I get, the more patriotic I feel when July fourth rolls around. I don't know if it's because I'm getting old enough to really appreciate what I have, or if it has to do with the growing amount of time I've been able to spend outside our country. Traveling really makes clearer the blessings we have as Americans.

I took my parents to a rodeo in Bulverde, TX last night. They were celebrating the fourth on the third, so there was a patriotic theme. My favorite part was the singing of The Star Spangled Banner. I don't know who started the singing (someone official, as it's something they usually do before a rodeo), but the entire crowd (myself included) started singing along. It was a moment of unity for everyone in the stands, in spite of our differences, to recognize and appreciate how truly blessed we are. There was a reading-I'm including the text below though I'm not sure who wrote it. The website I found attributes it to John Mitchum. What they played sounded like John Wayne. A moment in my life for cowboy poetry that can only be rivaled by a recitation of "I Love a Sunburnt Country" somewhere on a ranch outside of Gladstone, Queensland.

AMERICA, WHY I LOVE HER

You ask me Why I Love Her?
Well, give me time and I'll explain.
Have you seen a Kansas sunset
Or an Arizona rain?
Have you drifted on a bayou
Down Louisiana way?
Have you watched a cold fog drifting
Over San Francisco Bay?
Have you heard a bobwhite calling
In the Carolina pines,

Or heard the bellow of a diesel
At the Appalachia mines?
Does the call of Niagara thrill you
When you hear her waters roar?
Do you look with awe and wonder
At her Massachusetts shore,
Where men who braved a hard new world
First stepped on Plymouth's rock?
And do you think of them when you stroll
Along a New York City dock?
Have you seen a snowflake drifting
In the Rockies, way up high?

Have you seen the sun come blazing down
From a bright Nevada sky?
Do you hail to the Columbia
As she rushes to the sea,
Or bow your head at Gettysburg
At our struggle to be free?
Have you seen the mighty Tetons?
Have you watched an eagle soar?
Have you seen the Mississippi
Roll along Missouri's shore?

Have you felt a chill at Michigan
When on a winter's day
Her waters rage along the shore
In thunderous display?
Does the word "Aloha" make you warm?
Do you stare in disbelief
When you see the surf
Come roaring in at Waimea Reef?
From Alaska's cold to the Everglades,

From the Rio Grande to Maine,
My heart cries out, my pulse runs fast
At the might of her domain.
You ask me Why I Love Her?
I've a million reasons why:
My Beautiful America,
Beneath God's wide, wide sky.

~ John Mitchum ~

So there you have it. Plenty of reasons to love our great country.

Dear Charlie,

2010-06-28T13:49:00.004-05:00

When you showed up on Sunday morning, I figured it was because you saw me walking around most of Saturday in high heels...or maybe it had something to do with going Salsa dancing. While I admit, going shopping in heels wasn't the best idea, I didn't expect these consequences. You don't usually bother me unless I do something really silly, like running in heels. If your presence is due to dancing, then it was probably worth my while, because a good night of dancing will make up for almost anything.

I put up with you all day Sunday, and hoped you'd be gone when I woke up this morning. Unfortunately, you are still around. I stopped for bananas on the way to work, knowing how they are usually your cue to hit the road. I have now eaten two, yet you persist in forcing your presence on me. Please take a hint-you are not wanted. If you stick around for my soccer game tonight, I will be quite unhappy. You tend to make soccer a lot less enjoyable. Should you choose to stay until I get home tonight, I will be forced to take drastic measures and call Ben.

Thank you,

Janelle

Dreams

2010-06-24T11:02:00.003-05:00

I seldom remember my dreams, but occasionally there are snippets. Last night I dreamt about a black Mustang-I don't know exactly what year 2007? Something newish. It needed a proper paint job-only the hood and trunk had a clear coat. The rest of the car was that matte color that makes me think it's only primed and not really painted.

Night before last I dreamt about a Delorean. Really. I can only think it was brought on by the fact that I got an email from the Boerne park and rec office saying they're showing Back to the Future in the park this weekend.

I don't know why the car dreams, nor do I remember much about the dreams other than the cars. Maybe it's because a friend of mine has been making fun of Hal. My sub-conscious is coming up with new car options?

California and Utah Trip

2010-06-22T13:25:00.003-05:00

Finally, I'm writing about my trip home and to UT a few weeks ago. It seems like it's been so long, when really it's been about two weeks. It was lovely to get out of the Texas heat and enjoy some of the places where I really feel at home. I spent a couple of days in California. Most importantly, I got to see family...below is my mom with our dog, Zeke.

I miss family being close. I have such a good family; it's hard to be so far from them. I visited my Grandma Eunice, and chatted with Grandma Gigi (who lives with my parents). There were plenty of people to see, and while time was too short, I enjoyed the time I spent with all of them. I also enjoyed the fruits of dad's labor in the garden, pictured below.

Cherries have always been one of my favorites, and you can't beat fresh off the tree!

I confess, going home also brings the welcome opportunity to visit my car...

I can hardly wait to be somewhere I feel comfortable bringing her-I don't know what it is, but I feel so comfortable behind the wheel of the Mustang. It's so fun to drive! I also took the opportunity to drive dad's Cobra and his new Jeep. The Jeep is interesting...the steering wanders a lot and it's a pretty bumpy ride, but nothing beats knowing my dad has a(nother) project to keep him busy in retirement. It sounds like he's really enjoying the tinkering.

Next stop was Utah, for some time with my old college roommates. I had to see Cynthia and Tim's new addition (who is adorable!), and make sure Peter knows who I am. We spent time playing ball, reading and dancing. Peter makes a stage out of the hearth-below we are posing at the end of the song.

I had to take advantage of being in the mountains, so we went for a hike and a picnic. Cynthia made Avanti sandwiches (delicious), and we headed up the canyon for the morning. Peter was very good at holding my hand to make sure I didn't get lost on the hike.

Actually, he more held a finger or two. Each night, Cynthia and Tim ask Peter what he's going to dream about. His answer when I was there was "Mommy, and daddy, and Sam, and Janelle." Cynthia told me the trend has continued, and Peter still tells them he's going to dream about me. Not only do they have a cute boy, they have a smart one too! It's nice to be the girl of someone's dreams!

Grumpy

2010-06-19T18:52:00.002-05:00

I got my first ever ticket yesterday. I was following a friend not paying attention to the speed limit (naively assuming she would be). We both got pulled over. The cop asked about my address, and I've just finished changing it online. My postulate that Texas is stupid has again been verified as I have to pay to change my address. Why? I never had to pay in Utah. Besides that, I had to extricate a roach from my apartment last night. Harumph!!

I want one...

2010-06-18T13:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not really a die-hard sports fan, in fact, I seldom watch sports unless I have the opportunity to be there in person. That being said, if I were to head to a big game somewhere, I think I'd want one of these to wear-minus the hood.

No pictures :(

2010-06-17T21:58:00.002-05:00

Well...since Blogger still won't let me upload pictures the UT/CA trip post is still waiting.

Meanwhile, victory still tastes good. Team red had a 1-0 victory against dark green tonight. It felt good to be on the field and feel like I was really in the game. I stood in front of a shot to block it and didn't feel a thing. After three years I finally feel like I'm getting a little of my ability back. Too bad winter league seems to fall apart each year, it would be a great way to stay in shape!

Musing

2010-06-16T10:49:00.003-05:00

There have been a few things on my mind lately, life has been busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Softball season ended with a bang...our last game was last night. Unfortunately, we didn't win, but third place is pretty respectable considering we lost all but one of our season games. Soccer continues to be fun-we played one of the best teams in the league Monday, and while we lost, I still felt good about the game. I stood up one of their better players a couple of times, and I heard the team talking about keeping a team mate of mine out of the goal because he's dangerous. Passing on the compliment was a pleasure.

My plans for Europe continue to develop. All of the plane tickets have been purchased, which means the money hemorrhage can slow down a bit. I know the trip will be totally worth the cost, and I'm getting more and more excited. It's just over a month until I leave. My how time flies!

After telling my Europe plans to Cynthia, she called me crazy. At this point, I'm inclined to agree with her. She kindly passed on the fact that there's a huge tap workshop here in San Antonio from July 22nd to the 25th. My flight to New York (which is the beginning of Europe) leaves at 6:20AM the 23rd, but after looking at the workshops being offered, I signed up for one the evening of the 22nd. The workshop is called "Drum to Dance/Dance to Drum" and is labeled intermediate/advanced level. Guess I'd better start practicing up-I'm not sure I can do a pull back anymore. I hope I haven't just thrown myself into the deep end of a pool-I struggled some with tap at BYU when Gary taught the 500 class (if you don't know what the 500 class is, we called it "Quantum clog" because it's a graduate level step dance class-Irish, clogging, tap and French-Canadian).

Lastly, I think my clothes are growing in my closet at night. I put on a pair of dress pants that I bought while I was in Australia and they seem really big...and my belt seems too big too. This is a problem because I really like these pants, and have two pairs. I guess I should have bought the size 8.

Running...

2010-06-12T09:44:00.006-05:00

I let a friend talk me into running a 5K with her this morning. I know what you're thinking (if you know me) "You, run a 5K? But you hate running." You're right, but I wanted to support Jessie-she's training for a marathon. Something I have never wanted to do, but I'm happy to encourage.

This is us before the race:

Notice my lovely round, palindromic number. One of the other runners told me it was a heavenly number. It didn't turn out to be lucky...we got stuck behind the walkers at the beginning and spent a lot of time trying to pass them. Once we were able to set the pace we wanted to things went pretty smoothly.

I won't tell you how long it took us to finish...Jessie might. I was happy to be out in a park with lots of trees. We spotted a couple of deer somewhere along the trail. It was not as humid as it could have been, and pretty cool considering it's June and we live in Texas. There were even still some wild flowers out!

We were both happy that I had some Gatorade left over from softball.

Happy training, Jessie. Best of luck in November.

Victory is sweet

2010-06-11T10:27:00.004-05:00

I wrote before about a good/bad day. Softball, soccer, friends, and trying to make the best of losing. This morning, I am still reeling from the fact that team Chaos (my softball team) won our third play-off game (after an unexpected win of our second game). It was a close one-both teams were ahead at times, and for an inning or so we were tied. I'm not sure that as designated hitter and catcher I did much good, but somehow we managed to hold them in the bottom of the last inning for an 8-5 victory. Not only does this mean we aren't eliminated from the play-offs, it means that the worst we can do is third! A team with a 1-9 record in third...

I'm not sure how I contained my dance of joy until I got home, but I did. Victory is sweet. It tastes like endorphins. I can still taste it this morning-there may yet be more dancing.

Careful what you wish for...

2010-06-08T11:51:00.001-05:00

http://www.arcamax.com/rubes/s-742247-480568

Lately

2010-06-03T11:33:00.002-05:00

I was planning on posting about my trip to CA and UT, but this will be shorter and easier. I'll write about the trip when I have the pictures from Cynthia:)

We had a soccer game last night against team mint...one of the toughest teams in our league. By sheer skill, we had the game tied 2-2 at one point. While they ended up winning 5-2, it felt pretty good to know that we could score on them, and hold their offense for a while. I talked to one of their players this morning, and she said it was legit-they weren't trying to keep the score low in order to avoid the "if you're up 3 points you get to field an extra player" rule.

After getting home and having a shower, a huge storm blew in to San Antonio. My lights flickered then went out. I lit a couple of candles, found my camping lantern, and sat down with the book I was reading. I watched the lightening and the cars that couldn't get in the gates...lined up on the street until someone decided to do something about the situation. There were things blowing by like when Dorothy is caught in the twister in The Wizard of Oz, and my plants were dancing wildly. At one point, the lid blew off of a BBQ someone left out and ash went flying everywhere. I enjoyed watching. The power came back on just in time for me to go to bed. It was a good night.

Memories

2010-05-13T23:30:00.002-05:00

I did first aid and CPR training with the Red Cross this week. I had to laugh when they pulled out a stack of the grey blankets for us to use. They brought back memories...when I was a senior in high school, I went with a group to Mexico during spring break. We were camping, and happened to be there during a really big storm. When out campsite started flooding, we decided it was time to go home. Pushing the vans we came in up a muddy hill was no small feat. As we drove toward the border, someone got on a cell phone and arranged for us to stay at a church in San Diego that night. When we got closer, we found out that the police had appropriated the church as their base for a "situation" that was taking place across the street. The pastor at the church had called the Red Cross, and declared us refugees for the night. We were directed to an elementary school in El Cajon where we spent the night. On squeaky cots. With those itchy grey blankets to keep us warm.

Good memories. Probably no one reading this knew me then. Still good memories.

???

2010-05-11T16:54:00.001-05:00

I don't know what I did, but I lost my layout...and my cute backgrounds. Oh well.

Confession

2010-05-09T21:25:00.002-05:00

Texas might be growing on me. The wildflowers this spring were amazing, and I have some good friends here. That being said, I still miss mountains and seasons.

It's a good kind of crazy to be

2010-05-07T16:21:00.003-05:00

I called my best friend for her birthday on Wednesday. As she was crazy busy all day, I didn't really get to talk to her until the next day. She had a great birthday-her husband spoiled her, and I was happy to hear about it. When she asked how I've been, I started telling her about life in Texas. It's been over 90 degrees already...I got hit on by a body builder at the mailbox at my apartment complex...I'm playing both soccer and softball with a work league (which I love, in spite of the fact that we've lost all of our games up to this point-having good people on the team makes it fun)...some people that I went to church with as a kid want to set me up with someone who lives 1,700+ miles from San Antonio...I'm planning a trip to Europe with a friend of a friend I've never met; the list goes on. She was laughing about some things, but mostly thought I was crazy for planning a trip to Europe, first alone, and still when she found out I was going with a travel buddy. Whom I've never met. But who sounds nice enough over the phone. I trust the mutual friend that suggested we hook up to take this trip together (thanks Dave).

I'm super excited about everything, and I think that if I'm crazy, it's a good kind of crazy to be. My passport expires next year, and I'd like to add some stamps before that happens!

A good bad day

2010-04-30T13:47:00.003-05:00

I know yesterday was probably rough for some of my friends. Not in a really bad things happening way, just in a I didn't expect this type way. A couple of the best players on our soccer team transferred themselves to different teams. I don't know if it's the type of thing that is causing hurt feelings (my feelings certainly aren't hurt, but I don't know about the rest of the team), but it made soccer a lot different than it has been for the last two seasons. We lost our game yesterday 0-1, with a goal that I think was mostly luck on their end, and because we have trouble finishing. There were some good shots, but they had a good goalie.

Half of my soccer team is also on my softball team (okay, maybe not half, but a good majority). We had a double header yesterday as well. The soccer team showed up for the first game, which we lost. To the best team in the league. They totally stack this team. I don't know how it's fun for them to come out and play with people who can't even give them a run for their money, but that's just me. I like to have a close, hard-fought game. The soccer players left the rest of the team to the second game a man down. We got run ruled. Bummer.

However...

I hit a double in the first game. I think it's the first time I've hit a ball out of the infield (even if it did roll out). Right past the first baseman, into a gap. Don't ask me how I did this, since I'm right handed and for all intents and purposes should always hit the ball toward third base as I'm not skilled enough to pull the ball the other way. Nonetheless, it made me feel pretty good. On top of that, after missing an easy throw in the first inning, I made a couple of outs playing second base, and even caught a pop up that I thought I was going to miss. It was one of those moments when you close your eyes and pray that the ball finds your glove. It did this time. In spite of the loss, I felt pretty good about the game, and headed over to the soccer field.

Our coach has put me in front a lot this season (all two games of it), and I think it's kind of fun. Playing defense is great, I love it, but even the potential to score is exciting. It was a hard fought game, and I felt like I was keeping up with the pace. I think I still need a little coaching about where to be when I'm playing forward, but I also think I'm starting to get the hang of it. So in spite of losses, I had a good day.

Reasons

2010-04-29T21:34:00.001-05:00

I need to stop leaving my door open. You may recall the moth incident. Today, I found a cricket in my bedroom. Good thing I'm not afraid of insects!

But the weather at night has been so beautiful.

Why I can't go to book stores

2010-04-24T18:31:00.001-05:00

I set out this morning on a variety of errands. Costco to develop my pictures (which I'll post later), to Eddie Bauer to buy a birthday gift for my brother, to the grocery store, and to Borders to buy a travel guide to Norway. When I got there, I was greeted by the usual display of books...the buy one get one 50% off, the staff picks, etc. I love books, and was easily sucked in to the deals. If I bought $30 worth of books, I could get a voucher for a free book in two weeks time (assuming I bought $30 worth of books at that time too). Buying $30 worth of books will never be a problem for me. In addition to walking out with the Lonely Planet book I came for, I also took home an Asian cook book, a dessert cook book, Into Thin Air, A Walk in the Woods and Coffee, Tea or Me?. I hope the last is as amusing as it seems. Looks like I'll be busy for the next few weeks. If you're in the area and looking for dessert, there will probably be an experiment on the stove at my place. And when that wears off, I can just head back for my free book (and whatever else catches my eye)!

Failure means I'm learning, right?

2010-04-15T18:48:00.011-05:00

Two posts on the same day?? I know, it's a bit out of the ordinary, but I thought I'd share so you'd all know that there is something out there that I can't do (yet).

When I moved into my apartment, my brother asked what he could get me for a house warming gift...I didn't know. Eventually, he sent me a cheese making kit-something we'd talked about, but I'd never gotten around to trying.

I immediately called a friend to figure out where I could get some good milk, and headed out the next day for a gallon of milk. Matthew said the mozzarella was good, and easy, and I love to make pizza here at home, so that was what I decided to try. I got out everything I'd need, and started making a mess of my kitchen.

Here's the milk cooking...

Eventually, you get to a point where the milk should separate-curds and whey. This looked to me like the picture in my recipe book, so I headed on to the next step.

This is where I ran into trouble. I put the curds back on the stove and pushed them around with my spoon. At this point, I was supposed to drain off the whey and pull the curds like taffy.

There was no getting the curds out with a slotted spoon, so I resorted to a colander. It was not until I poured the whey I didn't use for bread down the drain that I discovered just how many curds I really lost...but that's neither here nor there. At this point, the curds are supposed to be in a state where they can be pulled like taffy. There was no pulling. They fell apart in my hands. Naturally, I called Matthew to try to figure out where I'd gone wrong. With some encouragement from him, I walked across the street for another gallon of milk and tried again.

As you can see, the result was not much better. I can handle not getting it right once, but twice was pushing it! This seemed a little more like cheese, but still not right, and it tasted pretty bad.

It's been a couple of weeks now, and I spent some time reading up on other methods of making mozzarella. I thought I had a handle on things, so I bought another gallon of milk so I could try again. Today was the day for trying, but the cheese gods were not kind to me. Below is today's result-not any better than the first two.
While I haven't completely given up the idea of making my own cheese, I think the next attempt will have to be when I'm in the same city as Matthew so he can give me some pointers about where I'm going wrong.

Do I detect a double standard?

2010-04-15T09:44:00.006-05:00

I was chatting with a friend last night. She asked "So you and Chad don't see each other anymore?" (Chad and I broke up almost a year ago, mind you).

I answered "No, we don't."

She said "Stupid boy." I pointed out the fact that I was the one who ended the relationship, at which point she said something to the effect of "Well, then, if you felt like you didn't want to be in the relationship anymore, it was the right thing to have done."

So, it's okay for me to break things off if I feel it's not right, but if he'd been the one who felt things weren't right he should have stuck with the relationship? Even if he didn't want to? Why is that? Or do you really think that I should have stuck with it, and were surprised to find out I broke it off, and trying to cover your tracks by the second statement? Do people think that talking down about someone I care about will make me feel better about the fact that a dating relationship with that person didn't work? I have a lot of respect for Chad, and while things didn't work out for us, that doesn't mean I don't care about him still, nor does it mean I want to hear you call him (or anyone else I've dated for that matter) stupid, no matter who was the one to end the relationship. Sometimes things just don't work out between two people, and no matter the reason, I think both still deserve to be respected.

It's true!

2010-04-10T15:53:00.008-05:00

I've lived in Texas for over two years now. In years past, I kept hearing people talk about the amazing wildflowers, yet never saw them. My first viewing of a bluebonnet was in a pot at a nursery. Not exactly prime viewing for something that's supposed to pop up everywhere. This year has been different than years past, and in a good way. The flowers are amazing!

I took a bike ride in OP Schnabel park, and liked these white flowers and the barbed wire fence together.

I took a drive this morning looking for flowers to take pictures of, since I keep promising my family pictures, and the bluebonnets are starting to fade. This just seemed right-cows grazing in a field of flowers. I imagine that they were more spectacular last week, yet they still made a great picture.

These are some more flowers I passed on my bike.

I love the juxtaposition-a prickly pear and a field of Indian paintbrushes. They are an amazing color too. There was a small oil rig in this field-I think I got a good shot with my SLR. I'll post more pictures after I get the film developed.

This is a close-up of an Indian paintbrush. A little different than the ones I got used to in Utah.

Bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes. The two colors look amazing together.
Bluebonnets and prickly pear-this is just across the street from my church building.
A bee on a bluebonnet. Feel free to make whatever puns come to mind:)

Prayer

2010-04-04T18:29:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately. It always seems to happen when I reach Ether in the Book of Mormon. He prays for some big things, and his prayers are answered, seemingly in the way he expected. I think about this when I read about Gideon in the Old Testament too. Judges talks about him praying for a sign, then another sign that it is the Lord's will for him to lead an army to save Israel. First the dew falls only on a fleece, and he wrings out a bowl full of water. The second night, the dew falls all around the fleece, but the fleece stays dry.

In Ether, the brother of Jared asks that their languages not be confounded at the time of the great tower-he asks this not only for his family, but also his friends. The Lord did not confound their languages.

I don't know the entire situation behind either of these stories. Probably, there are things in play that I'm completely ignorant of, yet I think about what I might do in similar situations. It seems almost presumptuous to me to ask what these men asked, and they not only asked, but had their wishes granted. I wonder as I recognize some of my shortcomings in the area of prayer how I can learn from these men, and other examples we're given in the Scriptures. While an attitude of "You'll never know unless you ask" seems a little too flippant, I think I need to approach prayer differently. Strangely (or maybe not, since it is part of a woman's nature), I am much more apt to ask for big blessings on behalf of others than I am to ask for things for myself. When I pray, maybe instead of worrying about whether what I want to ask is too much (because is anything really too much for the Lord?), I need to really consider what I want, what I think the Lord wants, and not be afraid to ask for things that may be in the plan, even if they seem presumptuous. Sometimes blessings are predicated upon our asking for them. If I'm too afraid to ask, I won't be blessed, nor will the people around me for whom I pray.

Comics

2010-03-30T12:17:00.003-05:00

One of the highlights of my day is reading the comics during my lunch hour. The following are two of my recent favorites. First, Girls and Sports-a funny look at why it's so hard to find a good man. If you ever want to get me on a soap box, ask me what I think about girls like her.

Second, Non Sequitur. A glimpse at my life;)

Okay, not really, but sometimes I wonder.

More watery things

2010-03-27T18:01:00.001-05:00

The only way this is connected to the fishing blog is the fact that the name of the song is Harbor. I just heard it on Pandora, and I love it! Here's a link to a youtube video, it's just audio, but worth the listen!

Fishing

2010-03-26T12:48:00.002-05:00

You all probably know how I love analogies. If you don't, just come to one of my Sunday school classes...I don't think I can make it through one without using an analogy or several. One that I have always thought is funny is the fishing/dating analogy...more fish in the pond, fishing in the wrong pond, going from friend"ships" to relation"ships". I heard it all at BYU. I always get a funny mental image of a fish in a boat (usually a canoe if anyone cares) with a fishing pole fishing for its mate. Makes me think the analogy has some holes in it.

While fishing, you throw in the bait and wait to see what bites. I guess that's what you do when looking for someone to date...show off what you have and see if anyone looks interested. Sometimes I wonder if for some people, hunting would be a better analogy. They see what they want and go for it, rather than wait on whatever bites. While I don't have any real insights about this analogy, the thought was brought on by a compliment I received. A friend of mine told me last week that I'm a catch. What a sweet thing to say, right? But it got me thinking, what if the person I want to be caught by is out hunting instead?

Meanwhile, I wonder if a certain offer to go fishing on the bay in a kayak is still good...better maybe, now that the weather is warming up:)

Enchanted, sick days and introspection

2010-03-18T15:00:00.003-05:00

I believe the last really introspective blog post I wrote included Enchanted, and a moment in the movie that made me think. Well, I haven't been feeling well this week, and while at home watching movies (which is what sick people do, right?) I watched Enchanted again. Once more, a clip at the end of the movie made me think. The hag is offering Giselle the apple, promising her that all the bad memories, everyone she's met in New York, and all her experiences there will go away if she takes a bite of the apple. I thought about the course of the movie, and how she learns things about the place she's in and herself as she meets and interacts with people. While a fairy tale life seems appealing, I think there are some things that can only be learned while in difficult times. Life is wonderful when things are going well, but do we really appreciate it unless we have something to compare it with? Giselle thinks, then takes a bite of the apple. I wondered if I would do the same thing? When faced with the choice between forgetting everything, and living in perpetual "bliss" or taking the good with the bad, what would be my choice? I think I would keep it all, good and bad together, and try more actively to learn from the things that perplex me, and be more grateful for the times when things are going well. What would you do?

Lesson Learned

2010-03-15T11:59:00.003-05:00

The weather in Texas has been beautiful lately. When I get home from work I generally open the windows, and even the door to my balcony. Saturday night, I learned my lesson. Having closed and locked everything, brushed my teeth, said my prayers, and went to bed. I was drifting off nicely, when I felt something brushing my face. I now believe that jumping from a prone position is possible, because that's what I must have done! I leaped out of bed and threw on my light (I might mention, I was quite sure the culprit was of the six legged type, so I wasn't too worried). Fearing I'd find a cockroach (though I've not yet seen one in my apartment), I looked around my room to discover a moth that surely came in through the open door. After spending some time to catch it, I tossed it out said door and retired to bed again. Needless to say, it took me quite some time to fall asleep.

Is it really that hard?

2010-03-09T09:56:00.001-06:00

A friend showed me this this morning. What I want to know is, is it really that difficult to throw the car in neutral and hit the brakes? Is there something wrong with my solution? I'd like to think it would work. Any opinions?

Vegetarian?

2010-03-08T16:34:00.003-06:00

I met a quasi-vegetarian yesterday. She will eat meat if she knows it was humanely slaughtered, and will eat fish. She doesn't believe that fish feel pain. Interesting, to me...how are fish so different from mammals? Am I the only one who finds this a little odd?

Poetry

2010-03-06T09:55:00.003-06:00

You leave, and I wish I were going with you;
To decorate your arm, to give you a hand to hold,
To smile and meet your friends, to talk and see your soul,
So you have someone to dance with.

You leave, and I'm glad I'm not going with you;
To perpetuate the rumors and wonder where I fit in,
To question how much you think you are losing,
So my desires are met.

We touch, and I long to caress you,
To feel you melt in my arms, to see you close your eyes,
And share a silent conversation of souls.

We touch, and I feel you pull back, hesitating.
Lost in a sea of confusion, wanting what we can't have,
By my choice, not yours.

I wait, and in waiting find both faith and hope,
That we can both become what we want to be.
Together, in a dream.
Apart, because our beliefs make it so.

Building Arks

2010-02-10T10:04:00.004-06:00

This is, unfortunately, not what I was thinking of last night...I still can't remember. Meanwhile, I was thinking about my Sunday school lesson this morning. I'm teaching from Genesis about Noah and the ark. You all know I love analogies. I remembered a conference talk from several years back about nets. While I don't remember who was speaking, I remember him asking us what was keeping us from coming closer to God and to Jesus Christ. He then compared those things to the nets that the apostles who were fishing left to follow Christ. Leave your nets and follow the Saviour, just as did the apostles and disciples of old. Let go of the unimportant things that are keeping you from Him. A message that was easy for an analogy lover like myself to understand, and a good illustration of how to make the Scriptures useful. While some things are pretty straight forward (i.e. Thou shalt not kill), it's not always easy for me to draw modern day conclusions from ancient text. We're told to follow the Saviour, but not told (explicitly) how. I appreciated the help.

(Picture from http://www.turnbacktogod.com/11-things-i-learned-from-noahs-ark/ )

So Noah...he lived in a pretty wicked society. So wicked, in fact, that the Lord decided to flood the earth and destroy all of His creations. Must have been pretty bad, though honestly, I sometimes have a hard time imagining something that's worse than what's on the news these days. But that's probably better saved for another time. Besides, in spite of all the bad that's going on now, I see a lot of good in the world too. Even my friends who proclaim themselves heathens are basically good people. Enough of a tangent! The Lord looked favorably on Noah and his family, and told Noah to build an ark out of gopher wood, and taught him how to do so. The ark would save Noah's family, and the animals God had created. Noah must have been a man of great faith. I'm sure there was not a cloud in the sky when he started building, and most, if not all, of the people around him probably offered tempting alternatives to the arduous work of building. I don't think collecting all the animals was a walk in the park either. Can you imagine? It was hard enough to catch my horse in a 5 acre pasture when he didn't want to come, let alone trying to catch something bigger, or faster, or more ferocious without fences.

The Bible is not super specific about whether the rain had started when Noah and his family entered the ark, but it seems to me that it wasn't...another test of Noah's faith. I wonder what the "children of men" did when it started to rain. Did they run to the ark? Knock on the doors? Cry for help? As if building an ark when there was no rain was not test enough, being in the ark and knowing what was happening outside must have been painful. I'm glad I haven't found a modern analogue for this part of the story. God wants all of his children to return to Him-I don't expect to have to close my ark to those around me. I think I'll be able to open the doors wide and invite my friends and family to be saved with me. You all probably know the end of the story. After 40 days and 40 nights of rain, it subsided. Noah waited for the waters to recede, and sent out birds to investigate. Eventually, one did not return, and he knew it was safe to exit the ark. God made a promise to Noah, and to his posterity, that He would never again flood the earth.

So what's the lesson for us? I started wondering this morning what arks I've been asked to build. What things do I do, knowing only by faith that they will eventually save me (and possibly my family, current or future)? I know that I don't like where I am in life-I don't imagine that Noah appreciated the time he spent building the ark when everyone around him went on with their lives oblivious to impending doom. There are a couple of things I can think of that the "natural man" part of me would like to do, but that the rest of me knows I would regret, so I refrain (and I'm glad I have). As for what the big picture of the ark I'm building, or the purpose thereof, I don't really have an answer right now. I hope that if I continue to walk by faith, I'll get an answer like Noah did when the rains finally came, and he knew fully the purpose of his toil. Meanwhile, patience is a virtue that I must need to work on a lot.

To quote Brother Ballio, "When a math teacher wants you to learn something, what does she give you? Problems. When God wants you to learn something, what does He give you? Problems."

Ideas

2010-02-09T21:44:00.002-06:00

Don't you hate it when you get a really good idea for a blog post while you're driving somewhere, then forget what it was before you get home and write it down? Just imagine you've just read something insightful and introspective...that's what my idea was.

Free Lunch!

2010-02-01T12:07:00.003-06:00

I know they say there's no such thing as a free lunch. Last week for me was pretty close. There's a Freebirds opening over by work. On Monday, they had a training day. For $1 donation to the charity that was there, I got a free giant burrito. It lasted two meals. Then, on Tuesday, a local restaurant was having a promotion-the first 50 employees at my place of work got lunch free. Yummy. A friend called and asked if I wanted to join her at Rudys for dinner-she had a free meal for 4. Texas style BBQ. It was a good week:)

Really?

2010-01-27T14:08:00.003-06:00

I heard a commercial on the radio this morning about tax relief. The part that stuck out to me went something like this: "thousands of honest, hard-working Americans have used [insert service name] to take care of their tax problems." Something seems wrong to me. If you were an honest American, would you really have tax problems big enough to need a third-party? Just asking. Maybe someone who knows more about the IRS can see how this is possible, but it seems dodgy to me.

Random news

2010-01-19T12:17:00.004-06:00

As the title implies, this post is not really going to follow any one theme. I have a few small things to say that don't seem at all related, but here I go...

I moved this weekend. I have a cute apartment with checkerboard tile in the kitchen and the bathroom. In the process of moving, I found out that I have some amazing friends. Not only did they show up to help me lug all of my boxes from one place to another, they stuck around the new place long enough to unpack most of said boxes too (that could have been because we waited an hour for some pizza, but who knows?). I feel so lucky to have such great people in my life!

In not really related news, my trusty TI84plus finally carked it. It survived several semesters of calculus, and physics, and even made it through physical chemistry. I guess the disappointment of now having only to help me balance my check book was too much for it! I still remember the day I used the quadratic formula solver for the first time. Sniff.

Having successfully moved into my new place, I naturally had to try out the oven. Below is a chocolate chocolate chip cookie-a recipe I've been meaning to try for ages. It's a winner.

My new Kitchenaid is also a winner. It is pictured below in my new kitchen, with some cookie/brownie bars that were also winners. I used the sweets as an excuse to knock on some doors and try to meet my new neighbors. Only one was home...more sweets for me!

Lastly, I got told about a chocolate walk today. This is one of the best ideas I've heard of in a long time. It's kind of like trick-or-treating for grown-ups. Participants receive chocolates from businesses in a downtown area-it's an endeavor to advertise for the local shops. I see it as mild exercise and (almost) free chocolate.

I can't believe it's almost February! One more month and I will have been in Texas for two years...two whole years of bad drivers and amazing BBQ. All in all, life is pretty good.

Following Instructions

2010-01-09T19:49:00.003-06:00

I visited a dermatologist last week. My skin is dry...really dry. I don't think you need much more information, other than that often my fingers will crack, and bleed. The dermatologist said that I could super glue the cuts together. So I bought super glue tonight. I asked my roommate to help me out. Sounds easy, right? Once we figured out how to properly open the glue, she squeezed. Glue went everywhere (on our hands, at least). She washed her hands (I don't know how effective it was), and I just let mine dry, without touching anything. My cuticles are now glued to my nails, and my thumb nail is glued to my finger. Meanwhile, the cut is glued together, and it doesn't hurt anymore. Maybe next time we can manage to only glue what we want to...

Another home story

2009-12-26T23:05:00.006-06:00

This is just a quick story...my uncle and cousins have snow mobiles. Dad and I went out with them today. No, that's not the story, I just wanted to post a couple of pictures-notice the helmets. We're responsible adults!
When dad and I got home and started talking to mom, I said "Turns out a snow mobile can go 75mph...who knew?"

Anyone who knows my mom can imagine the pained face she made. She expressed her exasperation at my love for speed, then asked whether we had helmets on. Dad and I assured her we did. Dad then said "You always have to beat me. I only got up to 70!"

For all you Texans, that white stuff on the ground in the pictures is snow. It's what happens when precipitation comes and the temperature is below freezing. Not the freezing when you go outside and say "It's freezing out here." The freezing where it's actually below 32 degrees Fahrenheit (Zero Celsius...273 Kelvin, you get the point).

I love being home.

The Joys of Home

2009-12-22T21:02:00.010-06:00

I promised pictures in my last post-I realized it doesn't matter if I brought the camera cord home, because lappy has a card reader. Don't you just love modern technology? Pictures will follow, but there are also stories that need to be told.

For reasons I love being home, family is at the top of the list. I'm pretty close to my cousins. We had a party last so we could all get together. My cousin Owen called and left my dad a message earlier in the day, asking if his sister Mindy could bring her boyfriend. I returned the call-it went something like this:
Owen: Hello?
Me: Hey Owen, this is Janelle. Dad said he got a message from you asking about bringing Mindy's boyfriend...he's welcome to come.
Owen: Who's your dad?
Me: Your uncle...Doug.
Owen: Oh!
Conversation continues, but is not funny past this point.

Yeah, that was the first laugh of the day. When Owen, Rachael (his other sister), Brad (one of his brothers), Uncle Kieth (his dad) and Aunt Jo (his mom) arrived, I was in the kitchen helping mom cook. The conversation kind of stayed in the kitchen area. We asked about significant others. My lack of said other came up, and they offered to set me up with someone (like any good family would). I said sure, as long as he's Mormon. Owen said (with much surprise) "Janelle, you're Mormon?!?! When did this happen?" and everyone burst out laughing. I said something like "All my life". Aunt Jo said "She went to BYU!". Poor kid, he then started asking other family members if they were Mormon too. Turns out he had no idea. I wish I had been able to see his face, I'm sure he was pretty surprised-he sounded pretty surprised. I guess we can't give him too hard a time-he is 10 years younger than I am, which means that he was about 10 years old when I left for college.

Now, for pictures.

Below is a picture of my uncle Dennis and our dog, Zeke. He usually doesn't come in the house (the dog, not my uncle), and we were super surprised when he came right in the open door after someone said his name. He is part chow part lab and probably something else too. He's quite camera shy. I've tried to get pictures of him several times, but he runs away from the camera. This was the best one.

Below is how we often spend our cousin parties. Pinochle is a favorite with my cousins, and we almost always play a game (or eight) when we get together. There was also a table playing Five Crowns, and eventually the Farming Game came out too.

As I mentioned before, Mom and I always make copious amounts of cookies and candy. What's in the bowl below is divinity.

These are my favorite Christmas cookie. Not only do the look neat, they taste great too!

What Christmas cookie plate would be complete without ginger snaps?

The finished products, awaiting delivery.

And, no trip home would be complete without several trips to town in the Mustang. I love the way this car feels. The seats are comfortable, the steering wheel feels good in my hands, and all the world is right (even when she won't start easily because it's cold-she can be coaxed). Sitting in front of Shubert's eating my milkshake behind the wheel of the Mustang. How can Texas ever hope to compete?

Life is Good

2009-12-20T17:54:00.003-06:00

Home for Christmas...all I can say is it's great to be home! I miss California when I'm not here! I love the farm land, the trees, and the weather-it finally feels a little like winter. I realize that it's nothing compared to other places, but it's more wintery than San Antonio. Mom and I are baking cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. I'll have to see if I brought my camera cord so I can post some pictures. I love being with my family, and it's nice to have a break from the reality of being a grown up.